Transforming Grief Blog

Saying Goodbye to Bucky – Part I

Waking out of a deep sleep, I heard my husband, John, shout, “Karen, you need to get up and see this. Bucky can’t walk.”

It can’t be that bad, I’ll just roll over and sleep a little more.

“Get up,” he said. “You have to see this.”

Grudgingly, I got out of bed and saw that our cat, Bucky kept falling over as he tried to drink from his water bowl.

Bucky was 20 years old. Since I never had children, he was my “baby,” sweet, gentle, timid and affectionate. I loved to cuddle with him and pet his soft gray and white fur. As the runt of his litter, Bucky had outlived his brother, Spanky, and his next feline companion, Kitty. He was the least adventurous of them all, although, having moved ten times in his long life, he experienced plenty of adventure.

Blind and arthritic, Bucky had recently become incontinent and developed a terrible smell that bathing didn’t help. Was his time near? He didn’t appear to be suffering. I hadn’t even considered putting him to sleep. He kept my lap warm while I wrote in the morning, slept in my meditation chair next to me as I worked during the […]

By |October 24th, 2012|Acceptance, Grief and Loss|

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Embrace Grief as an Ally

There are many prophecies about this year, 2012, as it relates to the end of the Mayan calendar. Some believe this is a time of great spiritual awakening and the expansion of human consciousness. Others believe we are coming to the end of the world. My experience so far is that of intensity. All that has gone unresolved in my life has surfaced to be healed and transformed during these past six months. In the process, I have opened more fully to embody more of my light. More of me has awakened to the truth of who I am as an infinite spiritual being of love and light.

During this time of intensity, many feel an urgency to find and live their purpose. They want to feel that their losses have meaning. Some are choosing to transition and leave the planet. My 97-year-old Grammie died two weeks ago. I just learned of another friend’s death yesterday.

Death and destruction are crucial for the birth and renewal cycle, for deep and lasting transformation to happen. Therefore, it is imperative that we embrace the grieving process as our ally, as a path to greater awakening.

If you have experienced loss and feel stuck in […]

Celebrating the Cycle of Life and Death

The cycle of life, death and rebirth is so rich and beautiful. When someone or something dies, someone or something new is born. Life is forever expanding and expressing itself. If we remain open and awake, we are able to celebrate it in all of its forms.

Recently, I received news that my 97-year-old Grammie was on hospice and dying after a fall from her wheelchair. Even though she was old and I knew her time on earth was coming to an end, I was still heart broken. I wanted one last chance to see her.

While driving to her assisted living home, I went over and over in my mind the things I wanted to express to her…how her life had made a huge impact on so many, what an amazing person she was, how much I loved her. I felt sick to my stomach and had a lump in my throat as I didn’t know what to expect. Would she be awake and conscious? Would I be able to communicate with her? Would she be in pain?

I knocked softly on her door before entering. She was unresponsive, sleeping heavily and looked similar to my father the day he passed […]

By |August 3rd, 2012|Acceptance, Grief and Loss|

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