Transforming Grief Blog

A Year in Transition

“Discovering your Groove and creating a luscious life is all about allowing for Grace through your next transition.” – Shann Vander Leek

The sun was an orange ball of fire in the sky as it sank lower over the horizon. I reached the end of the jetty and sat on a large rock to witness its final dip into the ocean. Dolphins surfaced only yards away as they fished for their evening meal. Two sea otters playfully floated on their backs in the harbor entrance where kayaks, fishing boats, outrigger canoes and sail boats entered and exited the marina. My heart filled with gladness and delight as I thought, I am finally home!

It had been an entire year since I first had the revelation…I need to move back to California, to be close to my family. My husband, John, and I had developed a wonderful life in Colorado over the past five years. Further, the cost of living in the Bay Area was much higher and the population more dense. We wondered how we could maintain the laid-back lifestyle we had grown accustomed to and if we would have to compromise our values to live there.

In mid-May, I drove […]

By |September 29th, 2011|Grief and Loss, Personal growth|

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Navigating Grief

Grief is a mysterious creature. It lurks unnoticed in the dark corners of our hearts only to be un-leashed by the simplest of provocations…listening to a song, looking at a picture, watching a movie, a brief thought or memory flashes through our minds reminding us of our loss. All of a sudden, a torrent of tears wells up within and comes tumbling out, unannounced. In amazement, we wonder, “Where did that come from? I thought I was done grieving.” Just when we feel we have grieved all we can, there is still more.

There is no rhyme or reason to the grieving process. It is different for every person. What remains the same is our choice about how we navigate it. We can express our grief and thus allow it to open our hearts, freeing us to fully live. Or, afraid of experiencing another loss, we can close our hearts and hide from life. Now, not only have we lost someone we love, we die inside. Our creative life force energy is sucked dry causing us to feel anxious, depressed, tired and unfulfilled. Trudging through the day, we wonder, “What’s the point of living?”

Grief has been a constant companion on […]

By |December 18th, 2010|Grief and Loss|

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The Heart Rock Story

Cruising on I-90 form Washington back to Colorado, John and I are ready for rest after eight hours of driving. We stop at a campground with easy access to the freeway, just outside of Missoula, Montana. Fortunately, the campground is practically empty. We set up camp among tall ponderosa pines and bushes tucked away near a creek. It is the perfect respite from our long trip. Enjoying the solitude and beauty of our site, we decide to stay an extra day.

Sitting on a large rock at the edge of the creek, I allow myself to slow down and be in the moment. I notice small butterflies, bees, bugs and ants busy doing their thing. I take in the gurgling sound of the creek, the blue sky, and the warmth of the sun. At the height of the hot summer day, John and I don our bathing suits. We frolic and play in the creek, dunking our heads under the cold rushing water, and skipping rocks like we did when we were kids.

I lean down to pick up a rock and enjoy the way it feels in my hand. I notice its shape, a heart. It has cracks and white […]

By |December 18th, 2010|Grief and Loss|

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Say YES to Life!

I recently watched the movie, Field of Dreams. It amazes me…it doesn’t seem to matter how many times I watch it, I am always inspired. What’s so inspiring to me is that Kevin Costner’s character hears a voice…”Build it and he will come.” He doesn’t know whose voice it is, who will come, or what he is supposed to build, but he remains open to the voice and eventually has a vision of building a baseball field. Even though it doesn’t make any logical sense, he follows his heart and builds the field.

Despite financial set backs and almost losing his farm, he continues to listen to the voice and follow his heart. In the end, miracle after miracle happens. Not only does he experience financial prosperity and get to keep the farm, but all who are involved realize their dreams.

When my husband, John, quit his job in October, he didn’t know what he wanted to do next for work. He just knew that he wasn’t happy and his heart told him it was time to leave. Since then, he has been following the bread crumbs so to speak…listening to his intuitive nudges. As a result, he has started a […]

By |July 21st, 2010|Personal growth|

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Expanding Beyond Fear

Scared, I told myself, “You can do this! Just lean forward and keep going. Don’t stop or look down.” In less than stellar snow conditions, I skied down a steep, double-black diamond run. Once I made it to the bottom of the run, I felt elated. Pushing passed my fear, stretching myself, I felt empowered and liberated. Now I knew I could ski any run under any conditions if I put my mind to it.
When we stretch ourselves beyond what we thought we were capable of, we become more confident and empowered, our vital energy comes alive and we are an inspiration to others! But, rarely do we push ourselves to stretch and grow. We become comfortable in our routines, settling for the status quo, doing things the way they’ve always been done. Fear keeps us stuck in our comfort zones.
In what areas of your life are you stuck in your comfort zone? In what ways might you be holding back because of fear? For example, do you feel bored and unfulfilled with your work, but are afraid to try something new? Are you playing it safe in your relationships because you fear being abandoned or rejected? […]

By |April 23rd, 2010|Personal growth|

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