Spiritual Awakening

Loss: Fertile Ground for Transformation and Awakening

Two days after New Years, I had an appointment with my massage therapist, Gypsy. Walking into his studio was like emerging into a safe cozy cocoon; candles were lit, the lights were turned down, and there was a warm glow emanating from the gas fireplace. In this quiet space, I began to relax.

“What are we working on today?” Gypsy asked.

“My heart…it needs healing,” I responded.

On New Years day, I had found myself feeling depressed. Usually this holiday is my favorite, because I love celebrating my accomplishments from the previous year, and I look forward to all of the possibilities for the upcoming year. But instead, I felt sad and angry. I had invested a lot of time, energy and money into growing my business, and here I was, in the same financial place with my income, but now also further in debt. Weighing even more heavily on my heart was my recent experience of what appeared to be yet another early miscarriage. I had had all of the usual symptoms of pregnancy for two weeks such as nausea, headaches, extreme hunger and fatigue, but they were more intensified than normal. I had allowed myself to get excited. This must […]

Embrace Grief as an Ally

There are many prophecies about this year, 2012, as it relates to the end of the Mayan calendar. Some believe this is a time of great spiritual awakening and the expansion of human consciousness. Others believe we are coming to the end of the world. My experience so far is that of intensity. All that has gone unresolved in my life has surfaced to be healed and transformed during these past six months. In the process, I have opened more fully to embody more of my light. More of me has awakened to the truth of who I am as an infinite spiritual being of love and light.

During this time of intensity, many feel an urgency to find and live their purpose. They want to feel that their losses have meaning. Some are choosing to transition and leave the planet. My 97-year-old Grammie died two weeks ago. I just learned of another friend’s death yesterday.

Death and destruction are crucial for the birth and renewal cycle, for deep and lasting transformation to happen. Therefore, it is imperative that we embrace the grieving process as our ally, as a path to greater awakening.

If you have experienced loss and feel stuck in […]

Grieving: A Catalyst for Spiritual Awakening

The grieving process can be a powerful catalyst for our spiritual awakening. When we experience loss, such as the death of a loved one, we long for the connection we once had. We long for what was that isn’t anymore. In our longing, we are invited to surrender and let go of control of how we think life should have turned out. We are invited into a deeper relationship with the Divine as we let go and trust the great mystery of life.

Over the past ten years, I have desired to have a baby but have experienced one early miscarriage after another, with no medical explanation. Each month I become pregnant, I get excited and think, maybe this time! Then, my period comes and I experience grief and despair only to ride the cycle again the following month.

The more I allow myself to express my grief and anger, ALL of my feelings, the more energy I have. My vital life force is allowed to flow and move…to create new life. Thus, my journey through infertility and grief has opened me to new possibilities for living a fertile life. Not only have I birthed a greater version of myself…a stronger, […]

Allowing Grief; Awakening New Possibilities

Where two rivers joined, I spotted a large dead Ponderosa pine which had fallen down a steep ravine on its side, half of its trunk submerged in the water. Carefully navigating my way down the ravine, I felt excited….This was the first day of my vacation and the tree was the perfect place for me to relax and meditate. As I lay down with my back fully supported by the trunk of the tree and my body soaking up the warmth of the sun, I dangled my feet in the water. The snow melt from the mountains was fresh and the water was freezing. I promptly removed them!

Surrounded by tall pine trees, their needles glistened in the sun, the sound of rushing water soothed my soul. Taking in the beauty all around me, my heart opened and tears welled up in my eyes. I witnessed the abundance, perfection, and grace in nature. The river flowed naturally without hesitation. Even though there were boulders and tree stumps in its path, it conformed and flowed around and over them, but never stopped. It crossed each obstacle with ease. There was no efforting, trying or resisting. It was simply and naturally BEING […]

The Heart Rock Story

Cruising on I-90 form Washington back to Colorado, John and I are ready for rest after eight hours of driving. We stop at a campground with easy access to the freeway, just outside of Missoula, Montana. Fortunately, the campground is practically empty. We set up camp among tall ponderosa pines and bushes tucked away near a creek. It is the perfect respite from our long trip. Enjoying the solitude and beauty of our site, we decide to stay an extra day.

Sitting on a large rock at the edge of the creek, I allow myself to slow down and be in the moment. I notice small butterflies, bees, bugs and ants busy doing their thing. I take in the gurgling sound of the creek, the blue sky, and the warmth of the sun. At the height of the hot summer day, John and I don our bathing suits. We frolic and play in the creek, dunking our heads under the cold rushing water, and skipping rocks like we did when we were kids.

I lean down to pick up a rock and enjoy the way it feels in my hand. I notice its shape, a heart. It has cracks and white […]

By |December 18th, 2010|Grief and Loss|

Read More